When Loyalty and Real Estate Collide
A Reddit post recently captured the emotional tug-of-war many buyers face. The poster was working with an experienced real estate agent they were connected to through a friend. That friend has now become a licensed real estate agent and is eager to take over as their representative. The buyer feels torn. Should they stay loyal to the agent who has already invested time or switch to support their friend? Should they be mixing friends and real estate?
The Reddit responses were overwhelmingly clear: stick with the experienced agent. One commenter wrote, “You’re ditching an agent who’s been helping you for years for someone brand new. That’s not a great look.” Another bluntly said, “You jerked the first guy around for two years, now you’re dumping him for a rookie. What could go wrong?”
I’ve Lived This Myself
Over the course of my career, I’ve worked with many friends and family members. Some of those experiences were great. Others left deep wounds. I once helped a very close friend buy and later sell a home. During the sale, the appraisal came in $5,000 short. The buyer requested a price reduction to the appraised value which I recommended that they accept based on market conditions at that time. They agreed but never spoke to me again after the closing. I have reached out countless times over the years, and the friendship never recovered.
I’ve also had challenging experiences with family. In one case, a relative changed their mind about moving after we had an accepted offer on a home. They later said they felt guilty for wasting my time and blamed me for pressuring them, even though I did no such thing. That relationship is fine now, but the memory still stings.
The Risks of Mixing Business and Personal Ties
Buying or selling a home is one of the most emotional and financially significant moments in a person’s life. When you add in the complexity of a personal relationship by mixing friends and real estate, it can get messy fast. Here are a few things to think about:
- If the transaction gets rocky, will your relationship survive it?
- Will your friend or relative give you the same level of professional service as a seasoned agent?
- If you need to switch agents mid-process, are you prepared to fire your friend/family member and lose a friend or cause family drama?
Experience Should Always Win
In the Reddit post, the buyer said they were working with a skilled, experienced agent and that their friend had just recently gotten licensed. There’s no contest here. A professional agent with a strong track record is your best bet and this is a no brainer as to why you shouldn’t mix friends and real estate in this situation. That agent knows how to negotiate, how to problem-solve, and how to advocate for you through a complicated process.
Also worth noting: it is highly unethical for an agent to pressure someone to switch from another agent. The National Association of Realtors Code of Ethics that governs most real estate professionals prohibits that behavior. If your friend is trying to poach your business, that’s a red flag.
When in Doubt, Choose the Path That Protects Your Goals
At the end of the day, your priority should be finding the right home at the right price with the least amount of stress. That means you need a professional who is focused on your goals, not their commission. If your friend truly cares about you, they will understand why you need to work with someone more experienced.
Looking for Advice?
If you are in this situation and need someone to talk to, I am happy to help. I can connect you with a professional real estate agent in your area who will focus on your needs and goals. Sometimes the best gift you can give a friendship is keeping business out of it.
