How do you know if it’s the one?
For the past 25 years, I’ve helped thousands of people purchase homes, many of whom were first-time buyers. And consistently, there’s one question that always comes up: “How do I know if it’s the one?” It’s a great question. An important one. And my answer is always the same: You just know.
It may sound vague, but think about how people talk about meeting their soulmate. When I have this conversation with clients, I often ask another question: “How did you know your partner was the one?” And they usually smile and say something like, “I just knew it’s the one.” Buying a home, especially the first one, is a similar realization. It’s not always logical. Often, it’s a mix of excitement, anxiety, and intuition.
You may be nervous about the mortgage payment, the neighborhood, property taxes, and more. That’s totally normal. But if you’re standing in the living room, mentally arranging furniture… if you’re thinking about your morning coffee in the kitchen… if you’re imagining all the places where you’ll entertain guests… if you’re walking through the space, picturing your future, that’s usually a sign your intuition has already made the decision that it’s the one.
Intuition or Logic: How Do You Know It’s the One?
Some buyers, however, tend to lean more toward analysis, and I totally respect that. For these clients, I always advise going back to the beginning: Why are you buying a home? What was your original list of must-have and nice-to-have features? Review your criteria and ask yourself how well this house matches them. If it hits at least 75% of what you were looking for, it’s likely a serious contender. Priorities can shift during the search, and that’s okay. Just approach it with purpose. Another helpful tactic? Make a pros and cons list. If the “pros” column is at least twice as long as the “cons” column, you’re probably looking at a good option.
What to Do if You’re Still Unsure
Here’s the truth: If you’re still asking yourself, “Is this the one?” then it probably isn’t. But when it’s the right house, something clicks. You’ll know not because it’s perfect, but because it’s right for you. And that’s what home should feel like.
Have questions about buying your first home—or any other part of the home-buying process? Leave them in the comments below, or send them my way. For the past 25 years, I’ve helped people navigate the buying and selling of homes, and I’d be happy to answer your questions in an upcoming blog post.
If you’re actively searching and unsure where to start, I can connect you with a trusted, experienced real estate professional in your area—a person I trust to help you make smart and informed decisions.
Let me be your unbiased guide in the next chapter. Ask your questions, get honest answers, and move forward with confidence.
